A few notes on life....

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I think it has been three years today since my Dads surgery. That in itself says alot since I used to live by dates and days of the week. He died on a wed, surgery on a wednesday. Heart attack on a Saturday- you know. My heart attack on a Thursday. Today is Tuesday. My grandfather I think died on a Tuesday. My Mother in law died today. Tims mother will always be my mother in law. I loved her, and have loved her for 25 years. I know that her last few days were hard, since she died of lung cancer. I hadn't seen her in 8 years. But I loved her just the same. She loved me too I know that. The last time I talked to her was when the girls went to visit her over Memorial day. We always had an understanding-no need to say too much, we just knew. We spent hours talking, just she and I discussing kids, parents, marriage, homemaking, cooking.
I peeled my first potato with her.
Made my first pot of coffee.
I was 18 when Tim and I met so to say I was a child, is not a lie.
She encouraged me to finish college when all I wanted to do was get married and have babies.
SHe shared her stories of sick babies, an alcoholic husband, losing her beloved father and mother, raising Tim close to alone after having him at 40. She was a tough lady and deserved some peace in her life. I don think she ever found Peace- but she was loved and for that she was a success.
So tonight I am here in my recliner, thinking about three years ago at the beginning of losing my Dad. I can muster sadness and remember helplessness, but the pain is not as sharp. For that I am grateful.
I am also sending a thought to Betty. Tonight she is with her family that she loved so much. Her Dad who was her favorite person is tonight playing the harmonica for her and Nonie her sister, with her Ma Willie and brother BooBoo. I can see them all together and I am in a strange way happy for her tonight. She finally has her wish to be together with her family. She told me at one point her desire to retire on a farm in NY state and commune with sister and parents, brother and children. I hope you are there right now.
I am attaching some pics of our boy from vacation. Note the color of his face and that should tell you how sick he was. He is still beautiful but he was sick. He is feeling much better now and back to his spunky self.
By the way-Betty if you run in to my Dad tell him Hi, ask him what the powerball numbers are,
aww forget it-just tell him I love him still and miss him everyday.

Comments

Unknown said…
What an absolutely moving and heartfelt post. I feel for your losses but I celebrate (with you) everything you have gained. This post is exactly what I meant when I first told you I thought you had a gift for painting pictures with words.
6:02 PM
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