momma bear is circling the cave

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I know I have everything people say they want. I have what I want and the most important thing to me are my kids. I dont ever want to have any of them feel that they arent first in my life. I will never ever desert them or leave to feel they are in anything alone. I have spent many situations feeeling that none could ever understand my feeling soI ne er shared them with anyone. I hope my lkids never feel that alone. In that case I will foreve4r be on their side, their team and first person to step to the plate for them. I dont intend to defend bad behavior or irresponsibility but the first person to tell me they are without mistakes or bad judgement gets to spank my ass with a wooden spoon. I was made to be a mother, It is the only thing thusfar in my life I think I have done right. I am not changing my ways now. If there are problems I will take care of them. I am the MOM. MOMs do those things... or are supposed to do those things, first at bat for you, take the first hit and cover for the second. I had that Mom and know that there were many times I deserved a good talking to but didnt get it becasue I knoew what I had done was wrong. I didnt need the extra shit on top of it.
I may be acccused of being a friend to my girls but you know, I know who has my back and my girls are as close to grown women as there is so I am close.... reallly close to have raised two amazing WOMEN virtually alone... and for that I am proud and not ashamed and never ever will I be backing down.
Where would my life be right now without the CHOICE to marry again and the4 CHOICE to have Jack? Dont really know but the child that wakes me in the middle of the night and greets me every morning with hugs and kisses is the REASON I AM ALIVE TODAY>
I may wonder where my life would be and I know It would be different but I never ever regret Jack. Never ever regret him.
Everything else is secondary, If you are not a parent you dont get.
If you are not a mother you really dont get it.

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