All is well.

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Can anyone tell me if I am a normal woman? I sometimes feel like I am an absolute basket case and deserve a quiet room with green walls and no mirrors or shoelaces. I can say that I want out sometimes. Out of what you may ask? well at the moment I want out of everything. I will keep my kids but that is a stretch too sometimes. i think any marriage that survives the building of a house deserves a five year hiatus when it is over. I am now a the point where I wouldnt mind the mess just caving in. Not really but I do feel as though I cant make a decent decision nor am I capable or DESERVING of anything. I watch enough tv to know that houses go over budget. Now try putting in a kitchen with decent cabinets and a (beautiful ) countertop under budget. Now add appliances and sinks and the tax and yup I am over budget. 2300 bucks worth. I have no problem getting the washer and dryer off the list and keep mine, to keep the granite top. But you know what? I have a feeling that the one "job" I was assigned is going to bite me in the ass for a long time.
I am feeling incompetent, dumb, naive, and the scapegoat right about now.
I can also say that i also feel a little taken advantage of.
My good nature and forgiving attitude is almost through to the other side and it wont be pretty poking on through.
I have visions of the beautiful kitchen of any womans dreams siting alone and me not enjoying it at all after the whole thing is said and done.

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