Flaming June's Love

Missi 4 Allie 6. Allie 7 Missi 5 Allie 10 Missi 8 Andy and I went to the appliance store today. We spent alot of money more money than I think I ever spent on stuff. It is good though well worth it I think. We got Fridge, stove, dishwasher, microwave, exhaust, washer and dryer. Under 4000 bucks. The house is really getting real. I am going to pour myself into it cuz I will definately lose my shit when Allie goes to school. I feel it in my bones. My Missi went on her date tonight with Jared. I saw him and thought he looked too old for her but I guess I think that cuz she should be my baby. He is about 6' blonde crop hair popped collar and loafers. Young republican, little Andy. Hubby is going to show me how to scan pics and I hope to attach a few of my girls young.

My baby graduated tonight. I didnt shed a single tear I was so proud. My two girls. It wont be long before my Missi is off to college too. Look at these two girls. How lucky am I? Allie and her boyfriend Joey. He has been good to her and I cant complain. My Mother, daughters and my Father was there tonight. see the orb and the out of focus pic. That is him I know it. If you told me I would survive this night without my Father I never would have believed it. I think he snuck into my spirit a bit tonight because I didnt cry one drop. I missed him terrribly.

OK so you browse the images saved on the family computer and there is your daughter with a beer in her hand pimping some hotties abs hmmmm. 1. Kick her ass and say no drinking and stay away from those boys they are all bad? or 2. Shake her hand and say "my hero" LOL 3. something in between. I chose three. Awards night for the class of 2007. Allie and her two best buds. I was the bawling sniffling mess in the back of the auditorium if you need to know. My boy amazing he looks more like his daddy everyday. The eyes are definately shaped daddys but colored mine. The devilish look in his eyes ANDY. See the little scar under his right eye piano bench. s car above left eye, trick or treat pumpkin. He looks a little out of it he had just woken up and I was giving him his snack. see the hair on his forehead well that was the last piece to be cut at the barber but JACK was sooo bad he had to stop before the cut was finished so we have the short hair in the back with b...

OK so it is reality tv. but please tell me this isnt a hispanic dragqueen. Any memories of the guy from RENT? well I must say I am disappointed. all that is missing is the 5 oclock shadow.

Dad? Are you there? Just wanted you to know I miss you everyday and I am trying really hard to do the right things. This picture looks like a cool place but I would rather you be here with us. It is also million of miles away and that is too far. The kids are good and I am fine. Mom is ok but misses you alot. The flowers we planted together last year are coming up. Nothing is the same without you. I love you so much.

Today was a breezy warm day in PA. This is Allie and Jack in the backyard. Spinning and windy and he just looks in love. He adores his sisters. Here are my babies in the new house. It is definitely coming along. (Funny look at Jacks finger in Allies mouth!XD I didn't see it 'til I enlarged it.) Remove the backloader from the pic and this is the garage with a bedroom up above. It really doesnt give much depth but I will get more photos. This is the left side of the house, see turet, first floor it will go to second when we get that far. I have to admit I was at the end of my rope with Jack today. He was an absolute bear. He just was one thing to the next and wouldnt listen terrible twos were always funny with someone elses kid. NOT F*&%^ING FUNNY NOW!!!!! My missi girl is so amazing. She saved some photos she found on a website about the hubble telescope. I asked if they were pics of heaven. She told me there is no heaven mom.

I know I have posted this pic before but it is my favorite. My Fathers hand on Moms shoulder is just so them. Mothers Day, or Fathers day is just not the same. I am missing who we were. I miss who I was. I always felt safe. I knoow how rediculous it is for a 40 yo woman to feel safe because her dad is still alive but that is who we were. I have fears now. I didnt realize before. Who are we without him? I am feeling this today and not a good Mothers day candidate. My husband and Jack. This is an older pic but I love Jacks hand on Andys. See it? And then there is my three. an older pic but it never loses its appeal. Jack maybe 11 months the girls just loving him up. Me just so proud to be associated with any of these three people.

The pic is shitty I know but so much is said in this. The man in the brown pants my Dad. the curly headed kid with dusty maryjanes- Me. The flash in the center my lask of photo copying abilities. Anyway i havent talked about my Dad lately. My online friend Dayngr lost her mom 4 weeks ago. I read her words and it reminds me of the fresh loss mode. I am in the 9 month mode. OK start over. The pic is he and I at the summer house and he throwing a ball to me. I am the fourth of four children. I am maybe 2. Dad is 26. Yup father of four at 26. Hardworking family man husband the whole deal. 1968. I miss him everyday. More somedays than others. Males who dont behave as men. A big one. I want my Dad back. My friend Dayngr put it perfectly if you dont have something good you dont miss it. This is a good Man in this pic. I am rambling because I feel her pain and I am feeling my loss all over again.

My busy boy peeling the labels off of daddys cd collection uhoh. Remember when you were a young young girl and the older boy on the block was the hottest coolest thing? Well the one to allies left is the boy of her childhood dreams. 5 years older than her and a plumber in town. He is adorable but not the boy of her dreams anymore. He is the man that lives down the street that is cute. He told her to scrunch down because she is taller than him, hmmm theres a sign. LOL Allie and the real man in her life. Jack

this was allies last day of High School. She has exams next week but the last uniform with your sister day. I am sad because I know how much her life is going to change, and know how much I will miss her. I am excited for her and all the great things coming her way. These two girls of mine were on the porch eating pretzels and onion dip and we laughed like dorks. My best bud Maryellen who died in Jan this is her little girl the same age as Allie and her best friend since forever. Going to her prom tonight. Her mom was not there in person but I so hope and pray maryellen got to see her baby looking so gorgeous. Jackire has natural red hair and she is just so pretty but a tough cookie. She will tell anyone how it is and then repeat it if necessary. I love her.

OK So I wanted to pu thim up three times cuz he so cute.

Picture this a bowl of raspberry icecream in it yes chips of chocolate and swirls of fudge. Inside the chips of chocolate is raspberry stuff, jelly, juuice, cream I dont know nor do I care cuz when I die of my massive heartattack and they cut me open a gas cloud smelling of raspberries is going to eminate from my open chest. There will be chips of chocolate inside my arteries and the raspberry jelly shit will line be inside my aorta. Andy comes home tonight. His flight lands around 11. I anticipate a long night when he gets in cuz ANDY NEEDS LOVING . Two whole days and ugghh man need wife. (caveman sounding ugghh) I am far too willing to oblige. He leaves tomorrow for NY state and will be back Sat night. Sunday he is away again to a class he is teaching. I am the most single married woman on the block. The house is really starting to look like a house. I brought the guys a pizza today. They were very happy. The cieling to the first floor is almost up so that means the floo...

There was a time in my life when I was just a thrill junkie. I realize now that I married too young and to the wrong guy. Oh well. Anyway. I met a really great guy when I was already married about 7-8 years. Chance meeting. We met at work and really as soon as I saw him I thought MINE MINE MINE!!!! A friendship with the sexual tension that just perculated. I was 27 he was 15 years older than I. I just thought he was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Bald, moustache, green eyes. Big muscles. He was divorced with a daughter the same age as my own. We would talk on the nights that we worked. I would dress for him and do my hair ont he nights he was there. About three months into this "thing" I had to leave the job. We were moving to PA. We - my husband and my two children and me. For the best... I thought before this got too serious. We said our goodbyes and never touched one another. I do know that we- or I- said if I still feel the same 6 months from no...

This is a picture of the house on Friday morning. It is now fully walled and framed for the first floor/ As I have said it has been very exciting but moreso now because everything we have talkedc about for the past five years are now in real time. Amazing. Andy bought this property when we were dating only a few months. He had always dreamed of putting "the house" on it. He tore down an existing home by himself plank by plank. brick by brick. Now the house is on its way up. We were there again tonight standing inside the walls and I pretended the doorbell rang, silly but true. So much to do but with Andy around I really believe anything is possible. The other pic is Missi sleeping on the couch this morning when Andy left for the guard. She is an angel. The second is her self portrait. I know she would shit and kill me for putting it on here but she wont see it. I love it I think she is gorgeous. I chose the front door for the house and it is full glass with an ...

Our new house is now up to the first floor. That means that the walls are up on the first floor and windows obviously cut out and doors cut out. Andy and I stood on the first floor and looked out to the view we will have. It is really awesome. We worked hard to decide which side to put the porch on and it worked out beautiful. We can see the river and the banks for the river. There is a landscaping business up the road and it is great. A little too convenient for the plant buying- but I guess it is a blessing. We cant decide if the exterior should be blue or yellow. Of course I am the yellow and he is the blue. How about yellow with blue trim? Anyway I have always wanted to build a house and here it is. We havent actually had any fights over anything yet but we are just gettting started. LOL The kitchen is an unusual shape. This is because we added two and ahalf feet to the length and I am now hoping we did the right thing when we stood there tonight it felt awkward. We wil...

oatmeal cookies mom made me. mmmmm mmmm goood. My new vase I love it. My pencil drawing of sleeping baby unmarked unsigned but beautiful I will have to find the right spot for this baby.