Vomit patrol
Yup my friend Ruth the other night asked if Jack had had the flu yet. No not yet knock on wood. Well didnt the devil heart me knock and on Wednesday night the poor bugger puked up dinner. We thought it was just Dad and the boy roughhousing so we calmed down and then it started. Turkey rice and carrots spewed all over the place. The poor kid didnt know what to do with himself. He would start to gag and then run. Me chasing behind with a bucket attempting to catch vomit. Then started the crying and fever. I gave him advil and puke. Pedialyte, puke. sleep, cry, puke, repeat. My poor bugger. anyway today was the first decent day since then. One really loose stool and 50% appetite, no fever. Neither of us or say the three of us have slept decent since then so I hope tonight will be the first.
OK wqith me now the latest. I have been on Paxil, which is an antianxiety, antidepressant for many years. I really dont need it but the withdrawal from this "non habit forming" medication is wicked. So I am now on day 4 of cutting my dose in half. I have wicked headache, and this crazy ass feeling that my eyes are slower than my head! okay I turn my head and it takes time for my eyes to catch up and so forth a dizzy nausea that is strangely like a feeling with bad marijuana I recall many many moons ago. OK so I am hopefully a few weeks from being totally drug free other than my cardiac meds which include thinners and cholesterol lowering meds and one antihypertensive.
Easter was very nice. We spent it with My mom and family then attended Andys sisters house. I did alright with the food and didnt have any alcohol. The problem for me is the caffeine. I am hypersensitive to the stuff since my surgery. I had two diet pepsis and a full strength coffe and laid in bed with jack tonight and almost shook him out of the bed. tapping my foot and shaking my leg. too much of the stuff.
Allie accepted and finally decided on a college. Yup It is final. drumroll
Immaculata University
So That is it. My girls will be away for college. I know that it is best for her but my heart will be hurting for a long time to come.
She is in a beautiful rural area close to westchester PA. She is 20 miles west of Philadelphia. Her best friend is going to Temple so they can see one another often if they choose to. I know the small university setting is best for her. I thought IO was headed for Penn state but then changed my mmind with the trip she took a few months ago. Yeah she was at a frat party and was drinking and dancing with some of the frat brothers. Her comment when she cme home was that she found her niche in life she and her friend Danielle were going to tour the country visiting their smart friends at all the great schools and just party their asses off. great I have a female version of John Belushis character in ANimal house.
A small catholic University costs twice as much but she stands a chance there I think. I pray.
Andy is fine. Our house has now been started and t eh hole is dug, the footers poured and the outline of the house is there. I talked about Christmas in the new house next year with all the family and I am so excited. If your are reading this you can come also. The more the merrier.
Lastly It was Easter today. My daughter sang to a packed church. She stood infront of everyone that doesnt normally attend and sang her heart out. She had alot of compliments and I am so proud of her. The other daughter well she slept through church this am. literally, slept upstairs though church. Its okay. They are who they are and I love them.
I miss my dad. He is still in my heart. Someone made the comment death is just dreamless sleep. nothing nowhere. That better not be it cuz Ill be really pissed. I watched the passionof the Christ last night and after watching that movie you ARE A BELIEVER I kept hoping he would be ok at the end forgetting momentarily I KNEW THE ENDING!!!! He was still crucified. He promised the bad guy who was crucified next to him, that he would have a place in paradise with him before the end of the day. If only he believed in him. OK so I believe tha Jesus died for our souls and sins. I believe he is a product of God and a prophet above all. I know my father believed in these things so We will see each other again in Heaven. right?
Heres the other kicker. I was watching a bit of my favorite movie tonight, what dreams may come. Heaven is what you want it to be. If I dream of a heaven where I am on a beach with sunny skies but no sweat or humidity or flies. so be it. But other people have the same heaven and they may be there with me. hmmm their heaven and my heaven collide. Hell is described as people who cant forgive themselves spend an eternity going over in their minds how things could or should have been better. Done something different, said it different. torture. I know these things have happened in my life. I know I did and said things bad, wrong, hurtful. I have prayed and cried for them and know they were wrong. I dont want to do them again. Is that over? Can I put behind me the bad decisions and forgive myself for being selfish or self centered or blinded.? When I die will I again meet the people I hurt or disapointed and tell them Im sorry.
Then again a friend told me there is no anger in heaven. Those earthly choices have little effect on the afterlife or Gods perception of you. GOD
God saw me do something I probably shouldnt have. I have remorse. I pray I will someday be forgiven
Goodnight Dad I love you and miss you very much.
OK wqith me now the latest. I have been on Paxil, which is an antianxiety, antidepressant for many years. I really dont need it but the withdrawal from this "non habit forming" medication is wicked. So I am now on day 4 of cutting my dose in half. I have wicked headache, and this crazy ass feeling that my eyes are slower than my head! okay I turn my head and it takes time for my eyes to catch up and so forth a dizzy nausea that is strangely like a feeling with bad marijuana I recall many many moons ago. OK so I am hopefully a few weeks from being totally drug free other than my cardiac meds which include thinners and cholesterol lowering meds and one antihypertensive.
Easter was very nice. We spent it with My mom and family then attended Andys sisters house. I did alright with the food and didnt have any alcohol. The problem for me is the caffeine. I am hypersensitive to the stuff since my surgery. I had two diet pepsis and a full strength coffe and laid in bed with jack tonight and almost shook him out of the bed. tapping my foot and shaking my leg. too much of the stuff.
Allie accepted and finally decided on a college. Yup It is final. drumroll
Immaculata University
So That is it. My girls will be away for college. I know that it is best for her but my heart will be hurting for a long time to come.
She is in a beautiful rural area close to westchester PA. She is 20 miles west of Philadelphia. Her best friend is going to Temple so they can see one another often if they choose to. I know the small university setting is best for her. I thought IO was headed for Penn state but then changed my mmind with the trip she took a few months ago. Yeah she was at a frat party and was drinking and dancing with some of the frat brothers. Her comment when she cme home was that she found her niche in life she and her friend Danielle were going to tour the country visiting their smart friends at all the great schools and just party their asses off. great I have a female version of John Belushis character in ANimal house.
A small catholic University costs twice as much but she stands a chance there I think. I pray.
Andy is fine. Our house has now been started and t eh hole is dug, the footers poured and the outline of the house is there. I talked about Christmas in the new house next year with all the family and I am so excited. If your are reading this you can come also. The more the merrier.
Lastly It was Easter today. My daughter sang to a packed church. She stood infront of everyone that doesnt normally attend and sang her heart out. She had alot of compliments and I am so proud of her. The other daughter well she slept through church this am. literally, slept upstairs though church. Its okay. They are who they are and I love them.
I miss my dad. He is still in my heart. Someone made the comment death is just dreamless sleep. nothing nowhere. That better not be it cuz Ill be really pissed. I watched the passionof the Christ last night and after watching that movie you ARE A BELIEVER I kept hoping he would be ok at the end forgetting momentarily I KNEW THE ENDING!!!! He was still crucified. He promised the bad guy who was crucified next to him, that he would have a place in paradise with him before the end of the day. If only he believed in him. OK so I believe tha Jesus died for our souls and sins. I believe he is a product of God and a prophet above all. I know my father believed in these things so We will see each other again in Heaven. right?
Heres the other kicker. I was watching a bit of my favorite movie tonight, what dreams may come. Heaven is what you want it to be. If I dream of a heaven where I am on a beach with sunny skies but no sweat or humidity or flies. so be it. But other people have the same heaven and they may be there with me. hmmm their heaven and my heaven collide. Hell is described as people who cant forgive themselves spend an eternity going over in their minds how things could or should have been better. Done something different, said it different. torture. I know these things have happened in my life. I know I did and said things bad, wrong, hurtful. I have prayed and cried for them and know they were wrong. I dont want to do them again. Is that over? Can I put behind me the bad decisions and forgive myself for being selfish or self centered or blinded.? When I die will I again meet the people I hurt or disapointed and tell them Im sorry.
Then again a friend told me there is no anger in heaven. Those earthly choices have little effect on the afterlife or Gods perception of you. GOD
God saw me do something I probably shouldnt have. I have remorse. I pray I will someday be forgiven
Goodnight Dad I love you and miss you very much.
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