Flaming June's Love

What compels you to do good things? Is it guilt, fear, or simple do-goodness.? Does it matter what moves you to the "right"? As a child I was reminded that GOD KNOWS what your up to all the time. HE knew if I was thinking bad... "bad" things. HE knew when I was cheating, lying, being lazy, and was keeping track. Are the "bad" things I "DID", the reason why unfavorable things have happened in my life? OR Are the "good" things I have done the reason the "favorable events" have outweighed the uncomfortable to this point? Why do I talk to the students that annoy me? Why do I say hello to almost every person that makes eye contact with me? Why do I forgive and forgive and let go of things... over and over again? Why do I believe people are inherently good, just misunderstood? What is the motivation for returning lost change, picking up trash, following the speed limit and not reading the last page of a book? OK so why? I am asking...

Can you see how amazing this boy is? Can you tell how much we love him? But there are a few things you dont know. He is hypersensitive to tactile stimulation so he has difficulty with his hands being dirty, that is why there are few pictures of his hands in the dirt. He is hardly ever looking directly at the camera, he loses attention THAT FAST! We bought the new camera to "catch him" he is that fast. This was a project we talked about for days and days. He talked about which seeds to plant, what he liked what he didnt. What he would eat, why and who he would share them with. Then had a few minutes of being really pissed because there was no corn. All that aside... He is the most awesome, amazing and charming boy ever. EBBER, in Jackanese.

Allie and I went out shopping today for groceries to prepare for Easter dinner. Then ran to Kmart to find a few Easter bunny treats. Onour way home we called Missi and asked if she wanted a pizza, sure, so we stopped picked up the pie and headed on home. While driving Allie suggested we listen to her new favorite singer Adele. I am a word person. I of course appreciate the music but the lyrics go straight to my heart. This gal has/had a broken heart. As have I. I am attaching this song of Adele's because listening to it took me all the way back to my days truly BROKEN about losing Tim. Not understanding how we could just end like that. I still wonder that, sometimes. Then reality kicks in and I DO REMEMBER. Everyone has 20/20 hindsight. I wish we didnt. Anyway, her broken heart singing about how Dont you remember and Take it all. I remember saying those words, and certainly feeling them. I must end this post with another song, which reflects my today. My life where I am at no...

I got to see one of my oldest and truly dearest friends last week. Kathy has always just gotten me. Define "Getting someone". We get it. We are both old souls in relatively (?) young (?) bodies. Both more truthful than is necessary or expected from anyone else. Totally insightful into other peoples situations, but we dont always grasp where the hell our own tails are all the time. We talked about stuff that... honestly.. You dont talk about. I felt the comfort level just fall into place. I could have talked for days. Interesting how she remembers stuff that I forgot. Our families have crossed like the veins on a leaf. We have come together and faded out numerous times, But continue on the same path. We each have lost, but have loved more than most. We are lucky to call each other friends from the beginning. I have been fortunate in my life to have some friends. Shit look at Facebook. You know what that means when I turn out the lights? Nothing. It means nothing, thos...

My life is beauty-full. I have so many wonderful things going on, and great things are happening for the people I love. Today I dropped Jack off at school. I walk him to his classroom, and chat with the teacher while he unloads his backpack. As I look into the room he is getting his table ready for work and chatting with his buddies. So I turn from the classroom and head on down the hall. I am already thinking about stopping for a coffee on my way home and what I should do with my morning off when I hear, from far away.. "MOM, MOM, MOMMMYYYYY! Its me JACK!!!! DOWN HERE!" I turn around and at the far end of the hall where I just left my boy working and lost in his 5 yr old world, HE stands, arms waving over his head, jumping up and down. "I see you JACK!!!" I yell back too loud for normal mothers to understand. "BYE MOM!! I LOVE YOU!!!!" "I LOVE YOU TOO JACK!!!" As I wave my arms and jump up and down. He blows me a kiss. It hits me square i...

Happy Birthday Mom, You are seventy beautiful years even though we arent saying it out loud. I usually reminisce when it is someones birthday but this one is all about TODAY. We went out for dinner this evening for Moms Birthday. Andy, myself the girls their boyfriends. Aunt Cathy, Jack, and my brother Dave. Its all about living everyday for today. We had a really nice night. Jack was a very good boy. Although I wanted to have a big party for her "secret birthday" We are all going to Florida in June to celebrate together. I love my family. Nothing big and splashy. Just us, plain, simple and really lucky to have our Mom. So as I head to sleep, I am grateful to have my Mom as my Mom and even moreso I am so grateful to have realized what a great friend I have in her. Love you Mom today and everyday. Happy Birthday, and maybe next year when you are 63? we can have a big party?!

If you live in my house the secret has been out for some time. If you do not live in my house you may be surprised to hear this. I am convinced that the end of the way of life as we know it is very near. I am not saying I am predicting a date or time but I have been researching the latest catastrophes and the state of our economy both here and abroad and it is all pointing to the same thing. The end of our "easy" way of life is right around the corner. I have been stocking up on food and supplies for the day when my family will be moving to a home we have in the mountains where we will survive. I may be nutz with a capitol N. I may be afraid of the potential loss of control of my little bubble world. I am afraid of these things but not soo afraid that I am going to let my family not be prepared. As well as I can. My husband has been supportive. Finding a generator, and encouraging my ideas of how and where the staples of living are going to come from. I may not be ready t...