Flaming June's Love

The kids went swimming tonight and then helped by cutting the grass. They are good girls. So here are my three kids snuggled up after swimming and warming up. I could just slide into the middle of these three and breathe them all in. You know the smells that people have that identifies them? Well my three all have their own distinctive scents. Now it sounds gross but truly they smell soooo good. I sniff Jacks hair and it is so sweet, a lttle foodlike and sweat in a baby kinda way. Missi is always smelling like a morning of deep sleep. Warm blankets, cozy pillows, my favorite jammies. That is Missi. Allie is the scent of morning but different morning-rain shower, sweet, sugary. I am really something lately so meloncholy I guess the word is. My friend Sue said my writing cuts her deeply. How can I expose myself so easily- I dont think I am exposing anything really, I dont even think about who reads this. I just write and feel better. I turn off the computer and I go on ...

Had to throw this one in. Me at 18. Big hair blue eyeliner. 1984. LOL Allie at 13 Top pic Allies 12th birthday i remember thinking how grownup she looked. The girls together Allie 13 Missi 11. Allie will be eighteen tomorrow. July 27th 1989. Yesterday but forever. Greatest most terrifying moments in my life. In moments I went from loving myself to loving someone else. Truly knowing I loved someone else enough to give myself up to whatever may come without hesitation. Not to mention the bugger didnt sleep for the first two years. I have a few pics I added with the scanner tonight I hope they do justice to time, love, beauty, devotion, adoration, pride, and motherhood. Go fly to the world and show them all why I love you so very much.

View from the left side of the house. The door on the far left is the dining room and will be one entrance to the wrap around porch to the front door. The individual panes int he upper windows will be in the lower windows when they are totally installed. The BIG window. I really didnt want this window I didnt think it fit the whole victorian theme being round at the top, but I truly lov eit now. Can you see it? this is the front foyer. The stairs in front of you to the second floor. straight back is another set of windows like the front that is going to be a window seat in the breakfast nook. Looks really good doesnt it? Sometimes I wonder.

Jack and Raspberries. This was taken a few days ago so I can tell you that outfit is long gone since the stains were truly impossible. Jacl fell asleep on Daddys leg like this So Andy reached the camera and took this. I think it is so cute and really peaceful. The girls this am goofing araound about Allie leaving for college. Missi pretending to be crying. I think her tears are closer to the surface than she likes to admit. My friend Ruby!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONSISTENCY of the yard!!!!!!!!! This is the status of the front yard at the moment. See the hill.... yeah. big problem. Windows definately go in tomorrow. There is about 13 grand of windows in the house now, sitting on the floors. He put boards up around the windows and doors sure hope no one decides to take a peak in there or they will be gone. I am feeling pretty good today. Time goes by whether you want it to or not. I have so much to be grateful for. My friend lost her sister at the age of 38 to breast cancer. Her ...

I am not computer savvy but I am sure you get the gist. Andy is away at Army reserves and came home sat night. I lost my shit and cried for the first time in a while to him about my guilt with Dad. I often feel that since I ama nurse I should have seen the signs of something bad. If not that then gotten him the help he needed to pull through this. My husband is a very big, strong, impressive figure. He has a presence. Those of you that know him know that you either Love Andy or you hate him. He is that kind of man. I can also say that if he is on your side it is a very good thing. He has taken alot and handled it all with real grace. My first husband used to "tease" that he would have to leave town for a few years when my Father died because he couldnt hand;le it. Andy has taken it all and handled my broken heart gracefully. Not to mention my girls, my mother and Jack. I am grateful. I am lucky.

Tania is a friend that I appreciate. Amy is a friend that I love. Amy D is a friend I admire. Allie and Missi are friends that leave me agape. If these two werent my girls I would look for them for the rest of my life because I know without them my life wouldnt be the same. Allie " Mom, It is hard now I know but just think, If Pop were here for 5 minutes we would say all the same things we used to and really nothing was missing when he was here, WE DID EVERYTHING RIGHT!" You know what -- you 17 yr old brilliant woman- you are right. We did do everything right. Our lives together werent measured by the last three weeks they are measured by the everyday. Our success and the success of my parents are ... US. We are them living or dead. I miss him but nothing has changed we remained together strong and still so a family. Just the way he would want it. Love to you Pop. I hope you are on a golf course somewhere with your Dad and old friends, laughing, reminiscing and gett...