Flaming June's Love

Missi 4 Allie 6. Allie 7 Missi 5 Allie 10 Missi 8 Andy and I went to the appliance store today. We spent alot of money more money than I think I ever spent on stuff. It is good though well worth it I think. We got Fridge, stove, dishwasher, microwave, exhaust, washer and dryer. Under 4000 bucks. The house is really getting real. I am going to pour myself into it cuz I will definately lose my shit when Allie goes to school. I feel it in my bones. My Missi went on her date tonight with Jared. I saw him and thought he looked too old for her but I guess I think that cuz she should be my baby. He is about 6' blonde crop hair popped collar and loafers. Young republican, little Andy. Hubby is going to show me how to scan pics and I hope to attach a few of my girls young.

My baby graduated tonight. I didnt shed a single tear I was so proud. My two girls. It wont be long before my Missi is off to college too. Look at these two girls. How lucky am I? Allie and her boyfriend Joey. He has been good to her and I cant complain. My Mother, daughters and my Father was there tonight. see the orb and the out of focus pic. That is him I know it. If you told me I would survive this night without my Father I never would have believed it. I think he snuck into my spirit a bit tonight because I didnt cry one drop. I missed him terrribly.

OK so you browse the images saved on the family computer and there is your daughter with a beer in her hand pimping some hotties abs hmmmm. 1. Kick her ass and say no drinking and stay away from those boys they are all bad? or 2. Shake her hand and say "my hero" LOL 3. something in between. I chose three. Awards night for the class of 2007. Allie and her two best buds. I was the bawling sniffling mess in the back of the auditorium if you need to know. My boy amazing he looks more like his daddy everyday. The eyes are definately shaped daddys but colored mine. The devilish look in his eyes ANDY. See the little scar under his right eye piano bench. s car above left eye, trick or treat pumpkin. He looks a little out of it he had just woken up and I was giving him his snack. see the hair on his forehead well that was the last piece to be cut at the barber but JACK was sooo bad he had to stop before the cut was finished so we have the short hair in the back with b...

OK so it is reality tv. but please tell me this isnt a hispanic dragqueen. Any memories of the guy from RENT? well I must say I am disappointed. all that is missing is the 5 oclock shadow.

Dad? Are you there? Just wanted you to know I miss you everyday and I am trying really hard to do the right things. This picture looks like a cool place but I would rather you be here with us. It is also million of miles away and that is too far. The kids are good and I am fine. Mom is ok but misses you alot. The flowers we planted together last year are coming up. Nothing is the same without you. I love you so much.

Today was a breezy warm day in PA. This is Allie and Jack in the backyard. Spinning and windy and he just looks in love. He adores his sisters. Here are my babies in the new house. It is definitely coming along. (Funny look at Jacks finger in Allies mouth!XD I didn't see it 'til I enlarged it.) Remove the backloader from the pic and this is the garage with a bedroom up above. It really doesnt give much depth but I will get more photos. This is the left side of the house, see turet, first floor it will go to second when we get that far. I have to admit I was at the end of my rope with Jack today. He was an absolute bear. He just was one thing to the next and wouldnt listen terrible twos were always funny with someone elses kid. NOT F*&%^ING FUNNY NOW!!!!! My missi girl is so amazing. She saved some photos she found on a website about the hubble telescope. I asked if they were pics of heaven. She told me there is no heaven mom.

I know I have posted this pic before but it is my favorite. My Fathers hand on Moms shoulder is just so them. Mothers Day, or Fathers day is just not the same. I am missing who we were. I miss who I was. I always felt safe. I knoow how rediculous it is for a 40 yo woman to feel safe because her dad is still alive but that is who we were. I have fears now. I didnt realize before. Who are we without him? I am feeling this today and not a good Mothers day candidate. My husband and Jack. This is an older pic but I love Jacks hand on Andys. See it? And then there is my three. an older pic but it never loses its appeal. Jack maybe 11 months the girls just loving him up. Me just so proud to be associated with any of these three people.