Flaming June's Love

I was telling hubby how I love to work with the pictures of the kids and tweek em and send them to people so he bought me new software. I hardly ever complain but I preferred the old software. He reinstalled it so now I have some new pics that I have goofed around with. Thanks Andy.

The boy has a runny nose and I think his ears might be bothering him he had a blueberry muffing this am and some applesauce and something hit him the wrong way... can you tell. milk and muffing with a smattering of apple sauce on his shirt and face, and cheeks. I guess taking pictures of a 20 month old while they are screaming is considered abuse LOL but I think he is so gorgeous and even his screaming has content!!!! Blond hair is just soo funny. This morning Andy and I and Jack were lying in his bed. Yup the car bed with the crib mattress Andy Suzie and Jack in it. A matter vs. space. vs. gravity event but we did it! anyway the sunlight coming through his window hitting Jacks hair had it looking red. good god this boy is a true conglomeration of gene pool. Now the shoe picture. These are my Dads work shoes and Jacks work shoes next to one another. Allie wears the boots when she shovels snow and Jacks were just sitting there next to his. Almost like they walked in ...

I had a jewelry party last night here at the house and it went well. I really dont care too much about the jewelry moreso having people over. It went really nice and it gave me an opportunity- no- a reason to do the spring cleaning. I dont know what to write about anymore. I think I am empty. I have things on my mind but they all sound so insignificant that I dont want to bother writing about them. Everyone is healthy other than a runny nose with Jack. Andy is fine and helpful as ever. He is taking a nap and the boy is playing with a musical thing that has gone for at least ten minutes. He keeps pushing the button and it plays over and over again. Tomorrow Andy and I are going out for the day with the boy. I need some grown up time I think.

Hey Dad , Its Suzie. First of all I really hope you remember who I am because I have spent alot of time praying for you about you and us as a family. I would be really bummed if the whole reincarnation thing was true and you are back down on earth as a bug or beast or some kid in a faraway land. My other concern is that if I do get there before too long are you going to remember who I am. Will what we had here mean anything to you then? Does it matter to you that I got the records from the hospital about what happenend to you here in the hospital? I know it wont bring you back but I want something from this. Comfort, peace, explanation, knowledge. I can bet money it doesnt mean shit to you now. I never thought you would have an answering machine where your at Mom is in New Mexico at Ricky's house visiting for a month. I am so proud of her. She got on that plane by herself and transferred planes and had delays from weather and she did it. I am so proud of her. You are ...

I held my breath and smelled in my nose. I looked at your face and down to your toes. A swirl of green and blue was flying above your head. I know that there were angels floating above the bed. Come over me come over me show me the way, How can there ever be a Dadless day? The swirling blue green angels are churning the hours I hold on, gaze into your eyes, those eyes are ours. "Can you feel it daddy we are surrounded by love?" Its the love you two made and now will share with above. As swirling blue green misties encircle all our minds. We hold onto each other and let you go to find your finds. Our prayers we whispered our pain we cried aloud, We know you heard us tell you how forever we have been proud. I think Mothers arms wide open and fathers heart full of pride, Are the visions you saw while we on earth cried. The defining moment when you looked at each of us with love, Your mind and soul still with us for last seconds then gone. Your smell it lingers in my heart and...

Had a long post ready to go and pouf it was gone. fuckers ate it at Blogger I guess it was that good. Now Ive lost my motivation and steam. It was good too, about the boy at daycare, and our new house, and I got my dads medical records and all that that entails. I feel drained and shitty. Anyway a few pics and Ill rewrite tonight with the details of it all. Nothing bad just feelings I had that seemed to flow.