Flaming June's Love

Here she is. My baby a senior in High School and about to go to college. What can I say about this child. As a baby she wanted to be with me all the time. I have loved her company since a baby. Mature beyond her years. Went to catholic school through 6 th grade then public school for two years and then back to catholic school for HS. She was attacked on her way home from school in eighth grade by a boy who pushed her in someones backyard and tore her clothes and punched her and and did ghastly things to her. Thank God she fought back and ran home. She had bruises on her breasts hand prints really. split lip and scared to death. We took her out of that school and she has blossomed ever since. Her father took care of the kid and his father spent time in counseling (one session) and then moved on. We havent talked about it in a long time. Cheerleader, honor student, captain of softball team, st micheals society, student council, homecoming court, chorus and district choir, cantor...

A blogger that I found a few weeks ago has told the story of her baby boy that died shortly after birth. I tasted the possibility of losing our son and I will post a pic of him on life support or whatever it was. I will also post a pic of me in the open heart unit two days after my surgery holding our son who was less than a week old. All so dramatic, I hardly remember. I was very drugged and in pain but do recall my prayers to "somewhere" "I am not ready to leave this boy!" "save me for a short time to hold him and kiss my girls one more time." I got those wishes granted or prayers answered however you look at them. I was so afraid and cautious. Just keep breathing was going in my head for months afterwards. Now he is running about the house destroying things in his path. Terrible temper, devilish look in his eye as he reaches out to touch the electric plug or the computer. His eyes sparkle with life and I am grateful. I am also feeling some ...

This was Allies sweet sixteen party. They were married 47 years. My mom said not too long ago that she still saw the 15 yo boy she fell in love with when she looked at him. They were truly in love. I miss these people. My mom is not the same without him. They smiled and loved alot. I miss who we were. I want my Dad back. Hot hot tears, For the lost years. Hot hot tears, for all my girlish fears. hot hot tears. whispering in my ears Why did you let me go How could you not know The decision made a week to slow hot hot tears hot hot fears close my eyes, my heart dies, time just cries, sad goodbyes, sad goodbyes, sad goodbyes.

I knew it, I knew it last week with the upcoming trailer for this week. The family standing around watching the dad die. I was there. My brothers and Mom looking to someone for what do we do? Me. I have felt that. Knowing he was in pain, and letting him go on. I wanted him to live, get better. I knew it as soon as they put him back on the vent I knew he wouldnt make it. I wanted to believe, needed to hold on. The end of the show when George says that he doesnt know how to live without his Dad. I know that. We, our family were defined by him. He was the anchor to what we are. Our history is wrapped up in his pride. A man that lives for his family that was dad. Pop loved us more than my words could define. He fought hard, fought real hard. He didnt want to die I know it was too soon. Izzie saying that no money can replace him true but man we will sue the hell out of those drs that made mistakes. I ask myself everyday everyday, what could I have done different. I woul...

The Boy, what else can I say than Those blue eyes are eyes of my life.

I cant even begin to describe the pride I feel when I look at these two women. If anyone reading has young daughters all I can say is be gentle and choose your words and actions carefully, they remember everything. I know these two women, I changed their diapers, I dried their tears, I held them while they slept. I look at them now and sometimes want to tell the world "I did this" I am so lucky,. They are beautiful, but they are smart. We went through divorce, deaths, illness, and stuck together. I want to be with them. I like who these two people are and admire their courage. Allie, sweet, gentle, intuitive, people watcher. Missi, outspoken, intuitive, individual, unselfish, Allie my oldest is so much me it is funny. Missi is so much her daddy I love her more everyday for it. I talk about Jack all the time. He is my boy, love. My girls, got me up in the mornings, sent me to work when I wanted to give up. I thought of them getting up and doing what they had to do so...

I took Jack to my cousins house today to "play" with his cousin Emma who is 5 months older than he. It was interesting to say the least. Jack was bold, sassy, and a real Bugger! He touched everything that looked worth more than 100 bucks in the first thirty seconds. She had two snowmen propped up against the flat screen tv and yup he walked over and pushed them both over with a clang against the screen. I was there in no time and told him no no and apologized to my cousin. No problem. He kept rolling along and opened her kitchen cabinets, picked up shoes, and took toys away from baby Emma. She screamed Jack ran away and I went after him. It was truly a disaster. I stayed 20 minutes and left with my head down. I hope this is a phase. I hope hope hope .