Flaming June's Love

I was sitting on the floor of his one room, apartment.  It was a total disaster. Clothes, shoes, books, magazines, paper clippings, newspapers. EVERYWHERE. He would walk around the apartment, usually in his underwear, and pick up a book and just plop down, open it, and read. Then get up, put the book down, do something, come back and have some old magazine in his hand.  He would plop somewhere else and just read. I was sitting on the floor, wearing my old overalls and tshirt, painting my nails.  I watched his patterned walking, packing, reading. I dont even know this guy.  No FUCKING CLUE. I am leaving in the morning for a weeks vacation to Key West with a total stranger. This is crazy...... I knew he drove like a maniac, I knew he could talk as if no one was listening to him. I figured out that he spent alot of time alone growing up so.. no one was EVER listening. He was funny, he was cute and was in the military so how screwed up could he be? We ...

The week between Christmas and New Years is a slow slow week at my work.  No students, hardly any staff and a perfect time of year to get paid, and do hardly anything. Back at Christmas 2001, My friend Shirley and I were wasting time and goofing around with the computer while at work. Tim had officially left in September, but truthfully was gone for years before that. Anyway, Shirley and I looked up MATCH .COM It was a cutting edge way to meet people in your vicinity that were single. OK perfect way to spend the day.  look at men we would never date. I scrolled and scrolled scrolled. Then saw a black and white photo of a guy with long lashes dimples. Cute. Teddy bearish.  I sent him a note, he wrote back immediately. sent another note, he responded.  We wrote for the rest of the day. We met at a local bar about  2 days later.  the 30th I think of December because when we met we talked about what we were each doing for New Years eve. As we we...

So I am about 3 weeks post 2nd stent placement. Long story short I have been complaining since October that I was having epigastric pain after eating.  I had two endoscopies, looking for whatever, and 2 CT scans looking for whatever blood work, xrays until finally I said to Andy... "I think its my heart and Im dying." We went to Philadelphia a few days later saw the Cardiologist and he pretty much agreed. The vessel that was used from my leg to bypass one of the blockages in my heart was blocked again.  Right below where the last stent was placed a year ago. So now two stents are holding the graft open in my right coronary artery.  I am real good at denial and avoidance, but sometimes MY MORTALITY is right in my face. Probably more than the average person.  I have had this life changing and mind blowing disease for almost 14 years.  It is a daily thought, and almost an hourly concern of "Is this my last day? will I drop dead today?" "Will this broke...