Flaming June's Love

The summer of 2014 is winding down.  But not without a few little things left to do.  We have had a few adventures and quite a bit of fun. Farm camp the first week of summer which feels like forever ago.  Jack learned about chickens, cows, goats and alot of water life.. It was definitely a great expereince that we will do again next year. We went to the forty fort pool a few times, but certainly not as much as we have previous years.  I think something has changed for me.  I used to enjoy going and being just THERE.  We were busy with Karate all summer which has been great for our boy.  He is strong and trying hard to stay intune with Master Barnes.  There was a visit to Wilhelmina Modeling visit.  Of course they want Jack to be a model but they wanted a 1000 dollar phtoshoot to put his cards out and put him on their website.  OK Dont have that. He is beautiful, I know.  He will always be beautiful. YMCA camp with a sleep aw...

  There is heat in my nose. Tightness in my throat, a smile on my face. Tears in my eyes. A tightening in my gut, that holds tight even in my sleep. When I die my LOVE will be a ball of the finest golden thread that is rolled in the tightest ball, that circles round and round itself, over and over back and forth.  Unable to find the begining or the end.  It will be heavy with weight of the gold, but pliable in its ability to move and reshape for whatever comes its way. My body will be dust but my LOVE will be golden, warm, glowing and alive. So many good loving things recently.  Wedding plans, family visits, a boy that hugs me, kisses me, tells me he loves me.  The love in my life is big enough for me.  I have enough. My girls, my boy, my family... fill me.  Do they really KNOW? Do you KNOW? When I cant sleep at night I roll your faces in my head, dead and living. You all help me sleep, to push away the things I am avoiding. The ...