Flaming June's Love

Funny I get onto Blogger to post and this is number 500 post. Merry Christmas to all and everything that is sweet to you and yours. I have so much to spill. Good things... Christmas was technically a hit. I (after writing about my visit to the Dr and reporting just a cold) went to a different doctor then next day and have bronchitis and sinusitis. I have been feeling truly miserable since the 23 rd. The gifts were all wrapped and everything necessary for the big day was done. Other than the bagels for my brother and exhusband on Christmas morning I pretty much hit everything else. I do have really bad moments of feeling overwhelmed and out of control but all in all the day went well. The girls got alot of stuff, Allies big gift this year were a pair of aquamarine earrings beautiful, and Missi got a new dvd player forher room. The rest of the stuff is typical purses jewelry, socks, closthes, movies, sweaters, pj's, undies, makeup, perfume, lotions, journals, the regular.. Th...

I rememebr watching this movie with my girls a few years ago and thinking God I hope I amnot that crazy. Now I look back and I am that crazy. But I am an excellent Mom and they Love me for that. I drive them crazy but that is my job. I love you girls now and everyday. When you read this someday long from the date that is listed realize that I sat here on the couch and dreamed of both of you dreamed of your future, good bad and everything in between. I have loved you boundlessly since the moment you were born. Neihter of you have ever lost a second of love. Thank you for making me valuable in this world girls, You made me matter, I love you for that.

Today was a day that could have been any other day for me. I went to work and did my job. I have been fighting a wicked cold for a few days so I had decided to go to the Dr at the end of the day for some antibiotics and cough syrup. The Dr denied my request for antibiotics but gave in for the codeine cough medicine. My Allie on the other hand is officially in sick mode. She always has a complaint of one type or another but this time she is officially SICK. She went to her Dr and has a double ear infection, sinusitis and eye infection. His comment to her was "you come in here this sick and still greet me with a smile>?" He gave her eye drops, antibiotics inhaler and cough medicine. A note for work through the 30th. Yes she is sick. Missi is NOT SICK. Why? well we were teasing her tonight that it is because she doesnt come out of her room long enough to breath any air that may have passed by any of us. She has been working on a paper that is officially kicking her ...

I was ready to put it all away for the night and just typed in Forty Fort, and this vid of a sunset over my hometown and the beauty of the river I love so very much. Then the song of having hope and courage after the loss of someone you love. I needed this song and vid to feel better tonight. Thank you God. Thanks Pop.

The quality isnt the best but boy do I feel it everytime she hugs her Dad and knows that is it for.... Now. I want one more minute. Thats all just one minute to feel a little better and know he is ok. I also like the part when Joe tells Bill that he need not worry about what is to come Not as a man like him. Its so sweet so good. Miss you Dad. Love you.

I havent said too much about it becaue as you know I have my moments of high furued energy that seem to poop out. I have officially been going to the gym for two weeks now and am still enjoying it. I did a mile in 18 minutes. I know some of you runners in blog world scoff at the idea but for me thats good. I am happy with that and hope to be "Running" in three months. Funny for me today. I am on the treadmill at the gym, listening to Alanis and ripping every BAD GUY on the planet with her angry scorned woman music when I SEE HIM. Yup right out of LIFE BEHIND BARS or OZ... 6 feet of muscles tattoos and bald head. I cant help but look at him. Mirrors are everywhere. I can see him when I look away, I see him from the tv screen, yeah I feel like his bald head is a freekin magnet for my eyes. I am not typically an oggler, It isnt polite and I am in no condition to look at anyone. This guy is something good girls only think about then blush. I continue on my walk and sin...

There are days that I think I have it all together, then like yesterday I am a shell of a person. My Missi is so much more than I am anymore. Her first swim meet was tonight. She was a nervous wreck and had hoped that she wouldnt swim in the meet since she is not a great swimmer.... but she has heart. We, Me Allie, and Tim arrived at 4:15 and watched attentively as kids swam and relayed and dove and breast, butterflied and all that stuff. My Missi wasnt ready to do her first eEVER SWIMMING RELATED ANYTHING until about 6:45. By this time I had said a full rosary in my head and numerous prayers that she ust get through it without finishing last. Why so negative well for a beginner it is not unreasonable to finish poorly since she never had a lesson or swam until about 10 weeks ago. She was in a relay and was the last leg. SHe umped in the pool and did her thing and we cheered and she got out and we hooted and hollered and she was happy. My prayers were answered and she is was to be...

Im feeling some Christmas spirit, but then the tree falls over and breaks a few balls as it always does, and Jack has a freaking meltdown after a weekend of excellent behavior, so yeah Im feeling,... ambiguous. I have waited for a very long time to have Christmas in this new house and you know what... It is just a house. The rooms are bigger the paint is classy, the floors beautiful but you know what , just rooms. My kids are the same and amazing. My husband the same and.... I am the same and feeling IT. Allie had an assignment for her Philosophy class, she had to ask questions of four different people at four different stages of life and I really didnt want to know my answers. I am sure no one wants to hear another story of regret and shoulda coulda woulda's but hat is what my life is right now. I try to see past all the PIA shtuf but damn Im tired. I am trying to keep everyone happy bu thtis girl is old. How old would I be? 35 Why? independence broke, yeah but potential was...

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/#/0

I received a comment from a lovely woman that read my blog and believes I am a "doll". I follow a blog of a family that began as a tragic story and now I follow because of the faith the woman has and I find it inspiring and gives me courage and humility for my own life. As I look through the blogs I follow I realize they are all the blogs of spiritual women. Religious, faithful, women with children and husbands, lives full of everything mine is full of and they still have room for MORE. Here is my thought for today, They have hurdles larger than mine, sick children, tragedies that would send most people reeling, Does their faith ease their problems? ease their pain, make their lives something that I dont have? Why does it seem as though their faith in Jesus Christ gives them an extra hand, extra courage, strength. Is that the answer, is that what I am missing that would HELP ME HELP THEM!!! Help me,,, help them. Help me,,, help them. I love them so very much and I would ...

It was a great holiday and for some reason there was no stress. Jack slept through the whole thing. He went to sleep at 1 30 ish and didnt get up til 330. Divine intervention. probably. Joe the neighbor came to visit for a few minutes and that was nice. cant talk gotta run lov eto all.