Flaming June's Love

I had a really nice weekend. My brothers werer in and came to our house for dinner. Friday night was dan and my Mom and I thouroughly enjoyed their company and then on Saturday Brother Dave and his wife Lorraine were here with everyone else. I had a livin breathing home for the first time since we moved in.m We had kids and adults and family and some really good hard laughs. It was a very good thing. I was shocked at the end of the evenin with a puking Jack, But he was kind enough to hold back until everyone was leaving. He had the pukers through the night and got up in the am as nothin had happened. At least he is better. All in all it was a good time. Allie took my nephew Danny out for the evenin with she and her buds. Interstingly enough Danny is from upstate NY so the whole party at a college is not something he has quite hit yet---- unitl last night. When they left they were oing to a movie then home. Well they did go to a movie then to a home of sorts, A FRAT HOUSE ...

The answer to all evils in my house today? Yup Teddy Grahams. I have decided the child will weigh three hundred pounds but the screaming and fits MUST STOP!!!! Going for my walk packed the grahams, going to the grocery store grab the grahams, gettin the Missi from school gotta have some grahams. It is and always will be the answer. My boy was an angel today and I am in love with hi8m again. Call back childrem services I am not leaving him on the square today. And as I have learned from the years of ... years, Just today is all I can do. So all is well in my world for the moment, I hope to attach some of Missis new passsion Photography and you will see she has some perspective. I love her. I love Allie, Jack, ANdy and yes Santa claus I love frggin everybody today. Cant say for sure what tomorrow may hold but who am I to complain.

Have I mentioned how hellish my son can be? Well HE IS EVIL!!!!! There are days when I truly feel like leaving him at the square and checking in once a eek on him. Today was certainly one of those days. I took him for a walk he didnt want tog o where I wanted to go so he cried for a good 20 minutes. He was wild and rough and didnt listen and cried a whole lot. I think his frustration level because he doesnt talk is getting to him. He repeats alot of things but I dont know what he is saying and then he starts to cry, or scream, or run around like a whacker. Then there are days when he is an absolute angel and I cant get enough of him. Today.... Not so much. I told Andy today that he probably should start looking for a younger wife because I am too old for this stuff. He didnt agree. I am attaching some pics from the weekend, I hope you like them.

 

  Girls after Easter Dinner... they love pictures.

  Goofing around the house, this is his happy face! = ] We love him !!

  This is Jack at the park for the Easter egg hunt in Forty-Fort. Allie snapped this picture and tweeked it for me.

 

OK so I am going to say some stuff here that I feel. I usually try not to go places that are going to ache me but I need to. Tomorrow my ex husband will be 46. \ We would be married twenty years in June. I know nothing is ever one persons fault but I do have alot of guilt over the demise of my first marriage. I was too young, I was not mature enough, blah blah blah. I hurt someone more than words can say. I hurt Tim sometimes just so I could feel something from him. He wasnt and still isnt a very outward talkative I dont know.. he didnt meet my emotional needs. I also had a very high sex drive, and we didnt do that much either. I was a kid, married at 22 baby 23 and just all swirled up inside. Where am I goin with this tonight, well... I am sorry to him. I feel alot of remorse for the pain I caused him. I really think we werent meant to be together for life but that doesnt excuse my really REALLY BAD BEHAVIOR>. I did alot of cheating. I may have been emotionally needy but I s...

Artist: John Mayer Album: Unknown Title: Say Take all of your wasted honor Every little past frustration Take all of your so-called problems, Better put ‘em in quotations Say what you need to say [x8] Walking like a one man army Fighting with the shadows in your head Living out the same old moment Knowing you’d be better off instead, If you only could . . . Say what you need to say [x8] Have no fear for giving in Have no fear for giving over You’d better know that in the end Its better to say too much Then never say what you need to say again Even if your hands are shaking And your faith is broken Even as the eyes are closing Do it with a heart wide open Say what you need to say [x24]

This is Suzie's oh-so awesome daughter,Missi. I saw that little diddy of a translation of that tombstone, and it just didn't look so right, SO!, I went and translated it myself...I got something a little more believeable, but it's still rough around the edges, if I do say so myself. Consecrated itself during THE whole duration of the war to the soldiers and to the injuries is rest has this effect 100 years to France. Now then, I hope all of you readers learned some French today. The professor Bailey will be back next wekk for even MORE amazing translations of wonder and awe. SO STAY TUNED,KIDS! AND REMEMBER, GET OUT YOUR LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE DECODER RINGS TO FIND A SECRET MESSAGE. =D

These are a few more headstones that I loved. I can imagine myself walking this cemetary for many more years and getting to know each corner as old friends or guardians. I have also attached two of my river pics. the day I was sliding into the cold edge of the water to become compost at the end of the river somewhere. Yeah this was that day. I dont feel much like mulch today, I dont like that place.

Andy was supposed to go out of town yesterday but he stayed home until today and I can tell you it was the best 24 hours we spent together in a long time. As I said before we had a nice dinner last night together, we visited the goats yesterday with Jack with pics to show how nice it went. Today I took ANdy with Jacka nd I for our 2 mile walk Ive been doing for the past few weeks. He enjoyed it as much as Jack and I do. I am attaching some pics from the cemetary. My brother Dave will so much enjoy them I know. He will surely notice the names and dates inscribed in so many of them. I personally love the angels and the inscriptions. I am attaching the bael fish translation of the French stone. So in love with all of these photos and all the souls that dance through my head for the rest of my day. IS CONSACRE' E THROUGHOUT ALL QUERRE TO the SOLDIERS AND WITH WOUND IS RESTE' E to this end CINO YEARS IN France

Another beautiful day here in NEPA. What entirely made it beautiful were these two men in my life fill me. Jack as beautiful as any child should be allowed to be. Andy as generous as any man created. I looked at these pics on the screen of my computer and was truly awed by them. I see LOVE in Andys eyes for this boy and cant imagine him never having been a Dad. He and I went for dinner tonight alone and bonded. We laughed and were silly. It was really really nice. I wanted to share these pics from this afternoon. Lucky me.

Love my guy

Saw her in 97 Purest voice Ive heard and quite an odd beautiful soul.

Did I mention I love this guy. Sitting in a bar having a beer and picked up a guitar and did this. Just another message to those who matter.... "Keep me where the light is"

Yes I have been walking for a week now and I feel pretty good about it. As does Jack. He enjoys the ride and tonight when I said lets go insinuating bed, he went to the closet got his shoes and asked for his goat goat goat, you know his coat!!! I have a standard route and he seems to know the direction we are heading since he wants to "Go datta teway maarm peweeze?" Yes I know the writing is a mess but that is his dialect and at this point any dialect of Jackanese is a good one. I had to laugh tonight since we left a little later than usual we ran into different people on the dike. runners and couples and after work crowd. Jack and I are usually the 12 noon group with the old people and young moms. Jack is such a friendly child he says hello to people when they are blocks away and continues to wave and talk to them as they approach and begins conversations with them as they are jogging or bicycling by. He then says goodbye and waves and see ya ladders. Then goes tot he...

It has been a while I know but things have been busy. As I said Aunt Betty died and went to her funeral and wake stuff. It wa actually in an abnormally pleasant way... nice. I think because we all knew she had lived a long happy loved charmed life. We all will miss her bt I believe her to be in a better place. I enjoyed all the family together and also had company tot he house. My first guests. My brother Dave and cousin mandy. They sat and chatted had a snack, coffee toured the new pad and we had a nice visit. I really needed that. I know we are all doing ok. Our last effort at seeking legal representationon my Dads behalf is tomorrow. A lawyer from Philly is coming to the house tomorrow to read throught he chart quickly and hear what I have to say and I guess take it or not depepnding on the meeting. As I said before this is the last time. I had wanted it to end witht he last but there are so many broken hearts thast one last try wont hurt anything. Missi is now begining...

Lawyer is visiting on Friday. Gotta go though. Im gonna read my dads chart for a while. My life is good though.

Here is something from the sooo long ago time, yet sometimes it feels not so long ago. I have talked about the summer house before and here is the proof of it. My dear AUnt Betty passed away yesterday \. She was the youngest of the four founding sisters my grandmother being the oldest of them all. She requested that this photo be enclosed in her casket because it made her think of the good days with her family "out the mountain" I am the thinner one in the purple sweatshirt sitting on the ground my beautiful young daughters were in the crowd as well. My father holding up a beer along with my Mother and many of the cousins. Yes this is real people these are my people and I am soo lucky to have them. I may not see them everyday but they've "got my back if I need it" I dont like when people die but I do enjoy everyone getting together. I walked with Jack today along the river and the water is high and the water is swirling and curling with tree branches and l...

DAD IS SINGIN TO US.

Today was our first real spring like day since fall. I really enjoyed today and even pulled out the ol camera to rpove it. I havent been motivated much to take any pics since nothing is changing(Or so it seems anyway). I have attached pics of the boy since we had our walk this am. I forgot the camera when we were walking and missed alot of great shots of him and the river and the scenery and our cmetary. yes I know the cemetary seems a bit morbid but actually the history and age of the place is amazing. I will take some pics over the weekend and attach them so you can all appreciate these people long gone, but never really forgotten. Anyway my boy is here and taking his nap and then another pic of him intense. So much love for this boy. The last pic is Allies addition last Sunday to our new home. I had mentioned how I miss the flowers in the house and there they were, one snapdragon, two lily's and some hydrangea. Absolutely beautiful and all my favorites. She loves me. ...

Today is one of those days when it rains and I am fortunate to not have to work and I am hanging with my slippers and the remote and the boy and all is well. My Mom came today to stay for a few days since ANdy is away for the week. I know she is lonely since we moved and I am looking forward to her selling her place and being closer to us. The kids are all good and all have fine weekends. Andy's birthday was Sunday so I made a from scratch chocolate mint layer cake and shrimp scampi for dinner. He was pleased. He is forty one and I think looks better than ever. He is getting the grey around the ears in his hair and smile lines around his eyes but I love it. I think it makes him look happy. I am so anticipating the end of project runway this week, yes I am a junkie of reality tv. can not help it/ Working on bits and pieces of the house and it is definately coming along. I am liking it more than not liking it so that is good. My brother Dave reads my log so I now he will se...